Are You OK?

The struggle with demons that no one knows about and the difficulty of trying to make others happy when we should be making ourselves happy.

We often walk around carrying stories no one sees. Smiling when we’re hurting. Serving when we’re empty. Trying to make others happy when our own world is falling apart.

My story took its deepest shape in Australia, during 8.5 years of a difficult marriage. Eventually, my wife asked me to leave. It became clear I wasn’t who she wanted, and no matter what I tried, I couldn’t make her happy. I became an easy target for blame because I could take it, forgive it, and try to forget it.

My lowest point wasn’t the relationship.It was the six long months I spent waiting just to see my son again.

After being assaulted, everything was thrown into the court system. Over three painful months, the case was adjourned again and again as more specialists were required. Eventually, my son was assigned his own barrister to speak for him.

Finally, the judge deemed me the only suitable fit for sole custody.

The decision was unexpected and produced a whole heap of questions I needed answering. I cant work, where is money coming from? I have no family here, where is my support? Where are you God?

A Line in the Sand – Jesus once stood in front of a woman who had been dragged into the public square, humiliated, accused, and condemned. Those holding stones were ready to destroy her life.

Fr. Tommy Lane writes,“There are so many ways to throw stones now… gossip, hurtful words, or posting something wicked about someone online.”And then he adds,“All have sinned and we are not to throw stones at another.”That hits home.

For years, stones were thrown my way. But truth be told, I also threw stones at myself believing lies about my worth, letting shame speak louder than grace.

Jesus’ response to the woman was the line that transformed my journey:“Neither do I condemn you.” John 8:11

Fr. Lane wrote,“Your value is not what others say about you but what Jesus would say about you.”

Forgiveness and Fatherhood

During the year I had sole custody, I carried not only responsibility for my son, but also a deep awareness of the pain his mother must have felt. I woke up daily with the tension between what was right and what was heartbreaking.

Eventually, I gave all of it to the Lord. As my faith grew, I felt God pulling my heart in a direction that seemed impossible: to give my son back to his mother. And so I did.

Shortly after, I left Australia and returned to the UK, feeling empty, unseen, stripped of identity. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I had nothing.

I wasn’t alone.

God kept me through it all.

A New Life, A New Calling.

As I leaned deeper into faith showing it, sharing it, discipling others, my life slowly rebuilt itself. Not quickly. Not neatly. But faithfully, step by step.

Fr. Lane reminds us:“Jesus draws a line between your past and your future… He forgives you but asks you not to sin again.”That line, for me, was both a release and a calling.

A release from what had broken me.

A calling to live differently, to build a life on forgiveness, compassion, and faith.

So today I ask you,

Are you OK?

Really?

If you’re hurting, struggling, or carrying things you feel you must hide…You don’t have to walk alone. Jesus is not standing there with stones. He stands with grace.

Would you like me to pray for you, knowing that God is listening?

Seven Years Later

It has now been seven years since I returned to the UK. Seven years of healing, forgiving, processing, and growing. My son has grown too, into a fine young man.

He understood why I had to leave.

He forgave me.

And recently, when I told him that I disciple young people, he said:“I’m proud of you, Dad. You’ve given me something to look up to.”

And hearing that… made every valley worth walking through.